by Sarah Grau

Created on: February 09, 2008

Have you ever fantasized about doing a love spell to make someone who otherwise doesn't even know you exist fall in love with you? Or to make an ex love you again? It really sounds great, doesn't it? Do your ritual at the right phase of the moon, at an astrologically auspicious time, use the correct herbs and stones, summon a love deity and "poof," you're back in the saddle and the man you love loves you in return. Pretty straightforward, right?

I think I've fully illustrated that, done correctly, the spell would not be simple. As a practicing Wiccan high priestess of 9 years, I would know. I did it. I tried. I was so in love with an ex who clearly did not love me back that I was sick and desperate. I did the spell, but I followed the rules. Do as thou will, an it harm none... check. I made sure there was a clause in my spell that no one would be harmed by the spell and that I had no negative intent. It's love, how could that be bad? Ever mind the rule of three... check. I realize that all the energy I put out into the world, for good or for bad, will come back to me three times. It's good energy. Love is a good thing! That last rule is the sticky one, though. Direct no spell at someone unwilling or unaware, no matter the intent. So, I can't direct it at the one I love. Hmm... okay. I'll cast a general love spell then to just generally draw love to me. Surely the man I love will be the one most effected. He loved me once, so it should work again. Even if it doesn't work on him, I'll draw a new man to me and I'll be so happy I won't be thinking of my ex anymore, right?

Wrong! My ex may have been the only man in the city who was not effected by the spell. Men approached me in the grocery store, at parties, at school, at the doctor's office. I even had a man try to follow me home from the gas station. It became downright scary. There were plenty of men I wasn't interested in who were ready to love (or stalk) me, but I was not ready to be loved by anyone else. Even the good-looking men who were genuine and interesting didn't appeal to me at that moment. I missed and mourned my past relationship, and that was where I was emotionally stuck.

Therein lies the beauty of spellwork. By getting everything you ask for, you eventually find out what you really need and want. I think a part of me thought I might be okay with a new man if he was the right one, but that wasn't the case. I just needed time to myself to heal.

Incidentally, I met my future husband just after I did that spell. Neither of us knew it at the time, though. It wasn't a classic "love at first sight" moment. There was no weird feeling of destiny clicking into place. He was just a guy my friend introduced in passing to me. I said hello and went on my merry way. We became good friends a few months later, started dating at the end of that year, and here we are married with our first child, 8 years after the spell.

Do I think meeting my husband was a result of the spell? It would be a big coincidence if it isn't, but I'll never know for sure. Either way, it was a learning experience for me. It taught me that a couple that is not meant to be cannot be brought together with spellwork.

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