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Contrary to the Disney version of life, marriage is not a fairy tale. It is in fact a full time job in its own right. Now put 2 more jobs into the mix and things get super tricky. Unfortunately, jobs tend to pull couples apart in so many ways that it's hard to put out the fires as the crop up. Even if both people work the same schedule it becomes a challenge to balance all of the different roles. Where does one stop and another begin? Who's job comes first when someone needs to be home w/ the children? Who carries the title of the "head of house" when both jobs are equal? In today's world these questions become blurred and tend to become the war-zone of marriage which eventually will tear apart the most loving newlyweds.

The trick is to remember the basic blue-print for marriage. The body can not have two heads, someone must be appointed leader. The male is the appointed leader by design. It is in his wiring to be the provider and the protector. The woman is appointed the heart and the help-mate'. As an appointed help-mate we may need to work outside of the home to help with expenses or even to maintain our sanity. Before anyone starts screaming, ladies, this does not mean we bow down and have non-essential careers. I have worked for most of my marriage as a computer programmer, but I know that is to HELP my husband, not to overshadow him. Even if we are fortunate enough to have a career type job we must never have our husbands feel less in his provider and protector arena and by the same token husbands should not look down upon their wives work. She is, after all, helping relieve the financial stress from her husband.

Some basic tricks throughout my 23 years of marriage I have learned are these. Don't neglect home for work. Yes once in a while you will have to work late, travel, etc. But make sure that it's not at the cost of the family. If you absolutely have to attend a work function after work, make sure that the next evening you spend extra time with the family, even if its just playing Monopoly for a couple of hours. Make sure they know that you are there for them. Husbands tend to feel neglected when the wives careers are demanding. Wives, make yourself aware of husbands needs by showing him he is still needed. This does not mean nagging him to take out the trash after dinner. My husband absolutely loves to fix things. I honestly believe it's his way of relaxing. So I will kindly ask "My faucet is dripping, can you look at this for me?" Boom the sirens

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