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I have no use for "drama". None. I have a zero tolerance policy on complaining, rudeness, and gossip. Previously, I worked as an adjunct instructor at a community college. Had I used my given name I would have been severely limited in my writing, unable to write with any level of candor. As an instructor, it is imperative that one maintains a professional relationship with the students and with one's colleagues. That means leaving personal problems at home and being pleasant to everyone. Because some of my articles have been candid rather than pleasant, using my real name would have tarnished my professional image.

It is important to me to speak out in defense of all who need defending. To do that, I need to be able to discuss my experiences openly. For example, advertisers need to see the mental anguish they cause me with their misogynistic imagery, their insults, their demands that I lose weight and exercise. The feelings and thoughts those ads cause are not pleasant. The damage is very real, and until more women speak out about it, there is no hope of change. I pray that one day all women will be as candid as I have been and let advertisers know that those ads only make us hate them and make us less likely to purchase their products. I could not stand up for such social causes in an effective way without admitting to the depths of my own struggles. I cannot do that while being "professional".

We live in an ugly world, and truth is far from beautiful. I refuse to limit myself to bland, inoffensive words that help no one. I signed up for Helium not from a desire to earn money, but from a need to be a voice of truth. That of course means telling the ugly truth about myself as well, because I do believe that a personal experience can be more illustrative than all the statistics in the world. Besides, I do not have the ability to gather relevant statistics. I cannot do brain imaging on a thousand women and show how those horrible ads, especially the one I just saw a moment ago on Helium, hurt them. I can only express the true anguish they cause me.

I am aware that many people, primarily men, will think poorly of me for this. They have the right to form their own opinions, but I also have the right not to be harassed. While it is most unlikely that anyone I knew at work would ever find my articles or read them if they did, I could not take the chance. Of course one can always "ignore" rude comments or tell people to stop talking about the subject. I personally see no merit in creating trouble for myself by using my real name. Yes, I could politely rebuff accusations and insults. Yes, I could reasonably debate dissenters. However, I would be a hypocrite if I did that.

The philosophy I wish to share is that of seeking happiness rather than suffering for the sake of suffering. Exercising, starvation, and using my real name in Helium are all examples of suffering that helps no one. I would never wish another human being to deliberately hurt himself. I write in the hope that I convince others to lead happier, more useful lives. It only makes sense for me to do the same.

Learn more about this author, Raven Lebeau.
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