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In today's society birth parents don't always stay together and raise the child. In many cases, both mom and dad remarry or get involved with other partners. Of course the situations will vary depending on the child's age, the circumstances surrounding the relationship, their relationship with the estranged parent, and other important factors.
Regardless, the stepparent scenario can often be an awkward one for a child. Things can become even more difficult when the new stepparent tries to replace the missing parent and requests that they be called "mom" or "dad". In a child's eyes, this may seem forced and is unwelcome.
Children might oblige but in many cases it can be from fear of hurting their feelings. Deep down this may not be the ideal situation. In fact, it could cause resentment and pent up emotions within a child. The decision to call a stepparent "mom" or "dad" should not be one that is demanded. A child should be free to make his or her own decisions.
Experience has brought me to relate to this issue on a few different levels. Perhaps what happened to me won't happen to everyone, yet I feel compelled to share this insight. Hopefully, these experiences will shed some light on the subject and explain the dangers that are involved when a child feels forced to change their views.
My biological mom and dad split up when I was knee high to a grasshopper. My dad got custody of me and remarried a woman named Regina. I didn't have a relationship with my birth mom but I certainly didn't see Regina as a mother. When I was seven, Regina and my dad had a child together. I was told that calling Regina by her name was confusing the new baby so I had to refer to her as mom from then on out.
At that young age, I admit that I was confused but I did as I was told. Regina wasn't a great mom but she was there when my real mother wasn't. As time progressed, I came to really believe that she was my mother. It didn't matter how she treated me, the fact that she stuck around no matter what linked me to her.
When I was sixteen, dad and Regina split up. I was in a group home at the time because I was unable to properly deal with my real mother deserting me and other childhood issues. When I was released, I went to live with her. At that point in time, my mother had came back into the picture but I couldn't forgive her for the lost time. I chose Regina because she was familiar to me. I was eventually released from state's custody to her care.
When I discovered my first pregnancy at
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