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According to the dictionary, this is the meaning of integrity:

integrity >noun :
1. the quality of being honest and morally upright.
2. the state of being whole or unified.
3. soundness of construction.
4. 'intact, whole'.

Now that we know what integrity means, how do parents sow seeds of integrity in their children?

A visual picture:

In other words, set an example.

Most children learn visually by what the see. If they see you using integrity, it's like planting seeds that will grow into integrity for the youth. We must believe in something before we can teach our children what is true. Integrity means the honesty of someone who knows the truth and refuses to lie or deny it. It's the dad who shows up for work on time, every day. It's the mom who doesn't accept excuses for those dishonest things that her children do. It's the parents who don't call in sick just because they want the day off. It's also the child who never thinks to cheat on an algebra test.

A person who has integrity never manipulates. The silent treatment is never used and they communicate their expectations clearly and honestly. We as parents need to understand that children don't automatically understand what we mean. They learn through experience and in what they see.

Live your values:

It's not enough to say, "Do as I say, not as I do." Kids don't buy that line anymore than you do. Set your standards and stick to them if you want your child to have integrity in life. Live the way you say people should, and if you slip up, admit it. Teach your child that it's okay to make a mistake, but it takes integrity to admit it.

If you pretend not to know that a clerk gave too much change, you're teaching your child that it's okay to take what doesn't belong to you. Be honest in everything you do if you want your child to be honest too.

Expect the best of yourself if you expect the best of your child. This teaches the child that later on, his boss will fire him if he doesn't measure up. We need integrity in society too, so teach your kids to keep their word in everything they do. So many marriages would be saved if we could find a way to plant the seeds of honor along with honest. We must honor our word and the word of others too, so make sure your child learns it's safe to trust you.

Teach the child to make a commitment to give:

Charity is a great way to plant seeds of integrity. The child learns that a promised kept can make a difference in life. The child must grow to know that the world does not revolve around them, but there are others out there who need our help, so be willing to give.

You can't have integrity and believe, "It's all about me." Integrity requires unselfishness. Making a commitment to give and keeping it shows the child how integrity changes the world, one life at a time.

Confession heals:

When a child takes a piece of candy from the grocery store without asking for permission or paying the price, teach the child how it feels to steal. The best thing a parent can do goes beyond the punishment you do. Take the child by the hand and face a human being. Confessing what he did and making amends will be something he never forgets, and he'll become an adult with too much integrity to cheat, lie or steal.
Sometimes allowing a child to swallow their pride can sow the seeds of integrity faster than anything else, so don't be afraid to let your child fail now and then.

To conclude:

With everything you say and everything you do, use integrity. There will be no better way to say what you mean and mean what you say in the eyes of your child.

Learn more about this author, Vicki Phipps.
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