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Parenting is a learn as you go experience. Every situation is different and unique. If you have raised your own children wisely and with good solid advice through out their lives,they should be competent parenting adults.

Your grandchildren should respect you in your home, that part you do have control over. Rules at the grandparents house may be a lot different in their parents house, but should not be exempted in the grandparents house. Your kids should realize this too.

They should inform the grandchildren of what to expect, because they lived under your roof once before. Grandparents in turn should not undermine the parents in many areas of parenting. Your adult kids should be allowed to make mistakes in parenting. It is a natural way of learning and raising kids.

Grandparents should only give advice when asked. Being a grandparent, your children and grand children look for your wisdom and expertise on many different problems. The trick is not to step over the line with opinions and advice.

The thing about being a grandparent, you only have your grandkids every now and then. Grand kids eventually have to go home with the parents and what they say and do when they get home, often makes you look like your interfering.

The simple fact is, we give our grandchildren money to spend. When we never gave our own children money, when they were growing up. The difference is we were teaching our kids responsibility. Now that our Grandchildren are a part of our lives, we feel the urge to help the parents in the terms of allowance and responsibility.

The fact that our kids do not understand is relevant. Even though they tell our Grand children, that Grandpa and Grandma are old and just trying to get
in to heaven, is no way to tell grandkids about their up bringing.

There will be conflicts of interest between your kids and you about how to best raise your grandkids. Restraint to your actions and tongue will ensure happier times. Grandparents can not be bloothers about situations they have no control over.

It is just as hard for Grandparents to not be in control. Controlling is a word that has brought much pain and interference between Grandparents and their children. Restrain your self as a grandparent,to keep from being controlling. Practicing the tight lip with tongue in cheek maneuver, can save both sides from grief.

The old,"I know what your thinking, but you better not say it", type of thinking might have been a good term to use back in a day, but is not looked upon as good advice for kids or grandkids today.

Good families learn from their mistakes. Good grandparents let their adult children make these mistakes, no matter how difficult it is to watch. The learning experience will make your kids respect you and just maybe they will pass it on to their kids. One can only hope!

Learn more about this author, Rex Coker.
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