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In my life I am extremely opinionated. There was once a time when I would debate and argue a subject to death if I felt that I was right. Heck, sometimes just for the thrill of the argument. I had a great mind and I loved exercising it. But I have learned as I grew older that those aspects of a persons personality are often detrimental when it comes to a relationship. We cannot all remain opinionated teens for the rest of our lives. At some point we have to grow up and say 'yes' sometimes. In the past I picked men how liked to debate a subject with me. They appreciated me having a difference of opinion. I was able to say no or yes as I saw fit. But then I met my husband and he is a different species of man. In the beginning years of our relationship I was myself. I would argue my point with him and I would stand up for my

'no' opinions or my 'yes' opinions. But then I would like to think that I grew up. I realized that he hated that aspect of my personality. He wants to wear the pants in the family and he wants me to agree with his viewpoints and support them. This went against everything that I was. I used to be a bit feisty and very very opinionated. But I would like to think that our marriage has evolved.

The secret to our marriage being so successful is that I honor his judgment and opinion. I go ahead and agree even when I sometimes have a differing point of view. But I've discovered that I'm not always right in this world and sometimes its better to listen to someone else. So I have become one of those wives that flat out says 'yes' instead of 'no'. I agree with my husband. I think its made our marriage stronger. I think that maybe its better to not debate every issue constantly. I think that when you want your relationship to run smoothly and flow that you need to let one person lead and you need to learn to follow in some ways.
There can not be two alpha dogs in a relationship.

It actually feels good to not argue about things anymore. It feels good to not have to debate this or that. But every now and then I find myself still wanting to debate a subject or say something different. Its just in my nature to be contrary, I guess. But I'm mellowing with age and learning to just be more laid back and less argumentative. Sometimes its better to agree then disagree. Especially in a marriage.

Learn more about this author, Kim Sharpe.
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