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I'm not bitter, I'm not sad, I don't have anything against people in love - good luck to them.I'm not cheap, I'm not miserable and I'm not a spoilsport - I'm single. Not happily single, I'd like nothing more than to meet the man of my dreams and live happily ever after, I just haven't done so yet, which is why for me, Valentines day is the worst day of the year.

Even when I was in a relationship I didn't like Valentines day. How are you supposed to know how much to spend? What should the card say? what if you've only been with someone five minutes? What if he gets you nothing? All problems I've encountered in my 31 years.

I think it all stems back to when I was at school. Every year I bought a card for someone, see I wasn't always the cynic, but all I remember is every year coming home from school feeling deflated and miserable with my card-free school bag on my back. The whole of the Day would be spent watching the popular girls receiving card after card, rose after cuddly toy, accepting them as if it was nothing, as if random boys declared their love for them every day. Then they'd have to get a heavy good vehicle to take them home because they couldn't carry the amount of junk they'd received, while I was left, feeling like the most unloved 13, 14 or 15 year old in the world, ever.

Even as I moved into adult hood it didn't get much better. I received a few cards and gifts, don't get me wrong, and its always nice to be appreciated, it just never seemed to be the right person doing the appreciating.

My ex didn't believe in Valentines day (In other words he was cheap)so for the five years I was with him I would spend the whole of February the 14th (and 15th) fending of peoples questions about what he got me, blah blah. I only say blah, blah because this was a traumatic time in my life, and probably the real reason I cant stand Valentines day.

Then we come to today. I'm single, as I've mentioned, and once again I'll be spending the day alone and loveless. I'll be spending the next week walking round with my eyes closed, I wont go within 10 meters of a greetings card shop, I'll try not to listen to the radio, with its relentless quest to find the most nauseating love song, I'll smile sweetly at my loved up friends, whilst crying inside, then I'll spend the evening alone as usual. Then when its all over I'll restart my quest to find my Mr perfect by this time next year. Who knows, by then it might just be a day I grow to love.

Learn more about this author, AJ Stephenson.
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