by Todd Pheifer

Created on: February 08, 2008

Do you adapt to your surroundings? Most people do on some level. The reason this is relevant is that dealing with negative people has a lot to do with how much you change when you are in different environments. Of course, adaptation is sometimes intentional and other times unconscious. Here are a few ways that negative people affect others happiness.

THEY IGNORE THEM

When my siblings bothered me in my youth, my mother always told me to ignore them and they would stop. She further told me they were being annoying because I was paying attention to their annoyance. Most of time she was probably right, and this is the approach that many people take when dealing with negative people. They decide before dealing with the person that they are not going to let their negative comments or mood affect their happiness. This does work for some people, though it should be noted that everyone has their limits. It is one thing to shrug off a couple negative comments as you pass in the hallway and it is quite another to deal with a negative person all the time.

THEY ARE NEGATIVE WITH THEM

Other people deal with the negativity by being negative themselves. Sometimes this is unconscious and other times it reflects a certain intention or perhaps a general lack of self-control. As the cliche goes, "misery loves company". It can be very comforting for some people to be negative sometimes. For example, if a co-worker starts grousing about the boss, it can feel almost therapeutic to complain along with the co-worker. While being negative may not be helpful for the psyche in the long run, it is important to understand that for some it can create a sense of belonging with others.

THEY ATTEMPT TO INJECT SOME HAPPINESS

Some people refuse to let negativity affect them and take the further step of trying to swing the negative person towards a positive viewpoint. They may try and encourage general optimism or find the "silver lining" in the negative comments of the individual. Sometimes this works well, but it can also backfire and turn into a conflict if the negative person directs their negativity towards the person trying to cheer them up.

Regardless of how you deal with negative people, much has to do with your comfort with yourself. Some people are not strong enough as individuals to combat negativity and therefore get "sucked in" to a session of complaining. Others do not want to deal with the problem at all so they try to tiptoe around it. Finally, some are determined to spread joy and cheer throughout the world, so they deal with the negative person head on and try to improve their day.

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