by Vicki Phipps

Created on: February 07, 2008

If you don't know why it is never wise to interfere with the parenting of your grandchildren, just ask the parents. This is probably what they'll say.

1. "You raised me in the old days, and we don't use the old way today."

Remember that time changes the way people raise their kids. It's not up to you to inform them of how it was in your day. First of all, they don't care what you did or how you did it. That day was long ago, and they've learned a few things since then. Your way might be the right way, but it isn't their way, so forget it.

2. "I am the parent, not you."

When grandma puts her two cents worth into the rules, a grandchild gets confused. Who's rules do I follow, mom or grandma's. If mom says it's time for bed at 7:00 pm, then that's when it must be, no matter what you think. Teach your grandchild to respect you by respecting her mom and dad's rules.

3. "I'll ask for advice when I need it."

It's not a good idea to give unsolicited advice. Even if they listen to you, you may not be right. How would you feel if you advised something that turned out to harm your grandchild. I shutter at the thought! Be very careful of what you say and how you say it. Don't make it true what they say about you. If you don't want to be known as the mother in law who interferes, bite your tongue more often than not.

If it's an issue that seems vital to you, talk to your adult child in private. Never say you disagree in front of the grandchild, who will always be listening. It's a big mistake some grandparents make and creates more issues than you expected.

4. " I choose to do things differently than you."

In my day a child got spanked when they mis-behaved. We called it, "discipline." Today, they say it's corporal punishment, which to me always makes me think of the death penalty in a prison. I simply believe that a child needs a firm kick in the pants once in a while, but instead, I follow the rules and do time out. They don't do things my way these days, so I had to do some learning too before I could baby-sit.

5. "Im the boss, even though you're my mom."

I remember my dad telling me, "No matter how old you get, you'll never be smarter than me." It's not the same these days, and our children are more brilliant than we will ever be. I suppose that's why I paid for all those years it took for my son to get his degree.

Oh my, was it a big surprise when my son told me that he was the boss of me. Whatever he says I must do with his child is what I must do. If he wants to be the boss

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>