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She ignored me for 1 minute and 33 seconds as I stood there waiting to buy a quiche at a local deli. Without a word spoken or a glance shared between us, I picked up my shopping bags and walked out the door, leaving it wide open to the street. I had been in a very happy mood before walking into that shop and her rudeness did sting, but only a little. I learned a long time ago that happiness and respect come from within.

I grew up in an abusive home, and when I was a young woman, I married a man that was very similar to my father. He wasn't a physically abusive alcoholic, far from it. He was stone sober, controlling, emotionally abusive and cruel.

I was told how to dress, who to speak to and who not to speak to. I was slowly separated from the friend and family support network that I had and became severely depressed. At some point, I came across a book by Norman Vincent Peele at a Thrift Store and I bought it and read it. Many, many books on positive thinking, parenting and self-understanding were purchased, read and digested by the young woman I used to be.

That marriage ended and the two children born of that union suffered while I battled with their father for years and struggled to grow up and to grow strong... emotionally. I've been blessed to re-marry nearly 20 years ago and finally find contentment with a normal person, who grew up in a normal household. We have two young, normal children who could never imagine what their lives could have been like if I hadn't made a long-term commitment to read my way into becoming a better person.

It's funny but when I was younger, I would have confronted that woman in the deli, possibly in a severely vicious manner if I felt like it. Actually, I used to make a point of shopping at larger stores and franchise establishments because I wanted to avoid uncomfortable scenes like that one and I knew that I would have recourse in the rare event that I was deliberately mis-treated by an employee.

I think race/religious/sex...discrimin ation was a major factor in the momentum that franchise stores and restaurants received. The idea that anybody could walk into a restaurant and know what the food would be like and the service... revolutionary.

I am accustomed to dealing with the painful things that life will sometimes throw my way and as I walked away from that shop, I looked inside myself beyond the initial pinprick of hurt pride and realized that I was okay and didn't need to do anything about the incident.

These days, I prefer

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