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When my husband and I became a family, and particularly when the children came along, we made a decision that rather than try to figure out which of our respective families of origin we would spend holidays with, we would just spend them at our home together and visit later accordingly. This works especially well for us because my husband is in media, and therefore days off (including holidays) are few and far between. These days are "our" days to spend at home together.

However, even without trucking off to relatives' homes or entertaining guests in ours, our schedules and later the children's tastes have presented some interesting menu challenges. The years that my husband was on the air during what would have been the dinner hour, we changed Thanksgiving Dinner to Thanksgiving Breakfast. We had eggs, toast, cereal, juice, coffee, fruit you name it. The important thing was that we spent that time together in our own unique way. This mindset has served us well over the years.

I think few things ruin a holiday for families more than artificially imposed outside expectations of what a holiday is SUPPOSED to look like for a family. There are many wonderfully talented professional homemakers out there who have tips on cooking the perfect turkey, amazingly intricate pies and cakes that will bowl your in-laws over, and place-settings that look like they came off a magazine cover. God bless them. But you know, if you really stop and think about it, what your family truly wants on this day: They want YOU. I don't mean they want the You that's waving a spatula menacingly around the kitchen if anybody even THINKS about touching those rolls before dinner, messing with your spectacular table display, and having a nervous breakdown because the stuffing is going to be ready and getting COLD before the mashed potatoes are done!

Holidays aren't about tranquilizers and traumatizing your loved ones over which dishes to set out. Thanksgiving is about bringing out your family's favorite foods and about appreciating each other and the time you have together. A few years back, I tried to do the "traditional thing" and make what I thought was a proper turkey dinner for my family. About the time we sat down to dinner, my daughter announced that she was now a vegetarian, my husband admitted that he too felt some guilt about consuming a turkey, and my son let me know that he didn't care for it for no better aesthetic reason than "ick." The dog and cats felt very appreciated that year,

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