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My cats don't get along. Period.

I have given up on the notion that eventually they will adjust to one another and live happily ever after. They won't. I have friends who have two cats who claim that their cats don't get along. However, my friends usually end up telling me how after a hissy/chasing/stalking fit their cats end up curled up with each other on the couch. This, my friend, is not what I'm talking about. If I ever walked into a room and saw my cats snuggled up to each other I would know I was dreaming.

Our story is not unique. I have a ten year old female named Romy who was the runt of her litter and (from what I've been told) was bullied by her litter mates. My husband has a five year old male named Q who spent the first two years of his life hanging out non-stop with one of his litter mates who belonged to my husband's roommate. A few years ago we moved in together hoping they would adjust to each other. This was clearly going to be a long process.

We read all the books and tried all the tricks, but Romy was scared of Q, and Q wanted Romy to be his new friend. It didn't matter how calm and patient Q was, Romy would hiss and growl and swipe her paws at him as she scurried under the closest piece of furniture. Q never hissed at her, he simply tried again. And again. And again . . . to be her friend.

Romy's anxiety became so overwhelming that she dropped from 7 1/2 pounds (already thin) to not much over 5. She was vomiting from her anxiety and miserable. After some medicine to calm her tummy and trying Prozac out of desperation Romy started to calm down and accept that Q was not going to go away. They achieved for some time a kind of truce and left each other alone.

After about a year of the truce Q finally lost his patience. He wanted a buddy and decided to push the issue with Romy. Here began the chasing and stalking portion of the story. Q still never hissed or pawed at Romy, but he would wait for her around corners and at the top of stairs. Romy's deepest fears about Q now seemed to be a reality.

Luckily our cats have very rarely had any physical contact. When they have Q almost always comes out the loser with a scratch on his nose or one time some teeth marks on his ear. Romy runs at the first sight of Q but is quick to chase him back when he eventually retreats. Sometimes she even takes a preemptive swipe at him just to show him who's boss.

My husband and I try to keep them away from each other and give them both lots of love. We have considered getting another cat for Q to play with, but what if they both gang up on Romy instead? We even had a cat behaviorist over, but nothing much has changed.

We love our cats. We wish they loved each other. Maybe someday they will, but we're not holding our breath.

Learn more about this author, Amy Richau.
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