by Sangeetha Narayan

Created on: February 06, 2008   Last Updated: October 18, 2010

A mother's instinct plays a very strong role in raising a child. I'm not exactly sure about the mechanics of this natural feeling that nature has given us, but it works for me every time. For every serious or light matter, whether taking the child to an emergency to whether the child is faking it, I trust my instinct. There have been times when I've had doubts if I'm doing the right thing. What if I'm spoiling my child by giving in to her demands? It is not always easy to know whether we are doing the right thing or not. So, here are some of the rules that I've set up for myself:

1. Whenever I'm in doubt, the first thing that I do is to listen to my inner voice! What does it feel? Sometimes, the answer comes immediately, and sometimes it takes time. But, at the end of an easy or gruelling session with my mind, I always have some clear answers.

2. The next thing that I like to tell myself is to give myself a break. We're never going to be able to raise perfect children. That is never going to happen as we ourselves are never perfect. It is time for parents to realize that mistakes are going to be the part of this raising process. That's how we learn and evolve. So why are we driving ourselves crazy over raising perfect children, when we should be enjoying our little children - imperfections and all.

3. The third thing that I like to remind myself is I'm smart! I know parenthood is a new experience for me, but I learn quickly - we all do! People are just to scared to admit that because smartness comes with some responsibility. If your spouse realizes that you're smart, you're left alone to make those important decisions about the child. You've to discipline them, take care of their studies, take care of their health. It is an overwhelming feeling to be suddenly responsible for a little soul. So, at the end of the day, I like to remember that I'm capable of doing that.

4. The last, but not the least ... Never ever compare yourselves with other parents or even your own parents. They did what had to be done for their children. Now, we have to do what needs to be done for our kids. You can ask for help every once in a while, but that is all! After that, you're on your own. It sounds scary, but it can be exciting too.

We bring a new life to this world, and now it is our responsibility to carve them in to somebody we can be proud of. I can't think of a greater purpose of life and the best way to avoid spoiling a child is to stop thinking so much about it. If we go with the flow and listen to our instincts, nature will take care of the rest of it!

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