by Jimmy Ettele

Created on: February 05, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

As my wife was in the throws of labor and her inhales of oxygen through gritted teeth and exhales of carbon dioxide through puckered lips tried to mask the pain, I stood on the sidelines anxious for a job to do. The doctor suggested ice chips for my wife. She had broken the barriers of a womanly perspire and was in full fledged sweat mode now and needed a little something to cool off between pushes. As quickly as I had gotten them to her mouth was as quickly she responded to the frozen water by spitting them back at me. At that moment, 5:15pm, July 23rd, 2002 it seemed like a lifetime ago there were two pink lines and our lives were about to change forever...

Before the urine was dry on the at home pregnancy test, my wife had begun thinking about the planning of a nursery in our house. Much to my chagrin, my office had been rezoned from personal use to baby during the planning stages. I never remembered being involved in that conversation much past answering "...well no.", when my wife asked, in a sarcastic tone, "Where should we have the baby sleep, in the basement?". By the end of the first trimester, my office was empty. You could see where my pictures had hung on the wall even after they were removed. It was almost as if the walls were just as upset to see them go as I was as they bore the scars of the frames that so proudly hung not weeks before.
The first trimester also brought us our very first hormone swing. This type of swing is like getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and on your way to the bathroom, you stub your toe. One minute life is good. The next I have insulted her and her fat ugly body, all because I asked if she wanted a sandwich for lunch. The first trimester also introduces our wives to the inside of the toilet bowl. Morning sickness, typically reserved for the first trimester but known to last longer, had my wife feeling ill from day one until day 91. During this time, my wife's senses were enhanced to superhuman levels as well. The woman was like Daredevil with boobs. If it weren't for the morning sickness, I would have had a cape and mask on her to she could thwart crime by night. Smells disgusted her. She could hear me when I snuck out the basement to catch a quick smoke. She gained a radial sense that alerted her to people or things close to her. It was quite extraordinary.
And of course I remember her beginning to get a bump. Being a man, that was the first time I think the reality of the situation had hit me.

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>