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to give him a reason to say, "No wonder I cheated on her." The best revenge is to be happy and fulfilled. High self esteem makes it easier to not only forgive, but to forget that you were ever the type who'd be so naive.

To conclude, I'll address the husbands out there who choose to cheat.

Remember, if you want to be forgiven, don't expect your wife to forget. She knows the other woman or women didn't mean anything to you, but how much you still love your wife is something you'll need to prove. Your apology will never be enough to erase the mistake you made. You'll need to explain, again and again, the answer to, "Why?" If you can't do that, then please allow her to leave. Don't use up her life.

Ask yourself, "Why did I lie," and be honest with your wife. Until she believes that you can be truthful with her, no matter home much that truth hurts, she will never forget what she can't understand enough to forgive. The past may not be where you want to be, but the mistake you made created the need to re-write your wife's history. Because of this, you'll have to think of someone else, other than yourself.

Remember the damage you've done and take responsibility for it. If you still believe your wife gave you a good excuse, then ask yourself this. "Why did I not have the guts to leave my wife instead of cheating on her?" You see, it's the lie that can't be justified, and no matter how rational it may seem, a lie is still a lie.
Take it from me, a wife who faced the loss of her dreams. In order to prove your sincerity, you'll need to change your reality. I hate to be the one who tells you, but you can't have it both ways. The truth has a way of revealing what the lie tries to hide, so get over your need to have it both ways, and please, make up your mind.

Learn more about this author, Vicki Phipps.
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