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The most embarrassing incident occurred the first year I went to school. The shame I felt stayed with me right through my school years.

It was a Friday, close to the Christmas season. The class teacher, Mrs. Partington, was asking each student how much his or her father would give to the Children's Home the following Monday. There and then, I decided I was going to have a father. I had the money the matron gave me to spend on food during recess that week.

I was trembling at the monstrosity of the lie I was about to tell. My parents had died in a highway accident when I was just a wee baby. All the memories I had of them came from a faded wedding photograph my grandmother passed me when I was old enough to ask who my parents were.

Mrs. Partington's voice interrupted my thoughts. She was calling out names in the register book. "David?"

"My dad says he'd give two dollars."

"That's fine. Alan?" she went on. My five dollars was not too little. I felt for the coins in my pocket. My turn didn't come.

I raised my hand. "Mrs. Partington, you forgot me."

"No, Paul, you don't have to give anything." She turned round to write on the blackboard.

"Mrs. Partington, my father says he'll give five dollars for the Children's Home," I blurted out. She turned to face me.

"I didn't know you had a father. This collection is for you and your friends at the Children's Home, for Christmas."

I stumbled back to my seat; hot tears blinding my vision. As a boy, I didn't want the girls in my class to see me crying. I picked up my belongings and walked out.

I continued walking, all the three kilometers back to the Children's Home. The kindly matron brought me to her office and put me on her lap. When my sobs subsided, I told her everything.

"Paul, it's unfortunate that you don't have parents but you needn't be ashamed of that. I love you. God loves you," the matron said, smoothing my hair away from my forehead.

I went on to a different school but still remembered that embarrassing incident. It was only when I made the headlines as the top student in the state and a write-up in the local newspaper lauded me as "the orphan who beat the odds" that I could accept myself as an orphan.

Learn more about this author, G. Lee.
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