by Dr. Deborah Bauers

Created on: February 05, 2008

Alexander Pope, noted playwright and poet of the eighteenth century, wrote "to err is human but to forgive is divine." In his thesis entitled "Essay of Criticism," he seems to have embraced the notion that forgiveness is something that can only be achieved by a god; certainly not by a human being. If we follow his line of reasoning we might be tempted to decide that debating whether any offense is forgivable is a moot point. Even if we choose to disallow Pope's belief, we still have one remaining hurdle. For when we marry the concept of human forgiveness to the idea that DECEPTION is the cultivated art of deliberately misleading or telling a half truth, we are left to evaluate whether or not pretense is a behavior that should ever be forgiven.

Before we can actually determine whether deception is ever a forgivable offense, we first need to further define FORGIVENESS. Humanly speaking, there are several myths that leave an impression of forgiveness that can undermine its significance when applied within the context of relationships. Forgiveness is not something that should be reserved for only those who ask. Forgiveness does not imply that there is no culpability; neither does it give license to the offender to continue to behave inappropriately. Forgiving another human being doesn't mean that the wrong-doing no longer matters or that there will be no consequences for the injury. Nor does forgiving someone mean that we will never think about, or remember, the offense again.

I suppose if we try to answer this question from a truly Divine viewpoint, we can look at the tenants of the Christian faith and find support for the truth that God can and does offer absolution and release from the penalty of sin. Of course, He sets the terms of His forgiveness. It follows then, that deception, like any other offense, can be forgiven by God, when His conditions are met. Perhaps this is what Pope meant in his writings. Unfortunately, there seems to be a shortage of gods and the rest of us are left muddling along together in the sea of humanity.

Let's look at the conundrum of whether deception is ever forgivable from the perspective of human growth rather than that of a spiritual discipline. The mental health community distinguishes the act of forgiveness from that of reconciliation. Forgiveness is simply choosing not to continue to empower the memory of past hurts and letting go of the entitlement to hold onto bitterness and resentment. Reconciliation involves the restoration

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