by James Douglas Doorsman

Created on: February 04, 2008   Last Updated: May 20, 2010

What exactly defines a "high need" baby? I've read about babies that need held constantly, or need to be rooting at a mother's breast for an extraordinary amount of the day. This is not a "high need" baby, I would call this a "high want" baby.

Needs are defined as things a baby has to have to survive. Does an infant need to be held to it's mother's bosom all day in order for he or she to survive? No, a mother or father if the child is demanding being held needs to cut the umbilical cord so to speak and decide when enough is enough. If the baby is fed, changed, clothed, burped and for all intents and purposes it's needs are met then why give into it's wants? Is it because you are feeling guilty that your child is crying?

So you had children who were easier to take care of and didn't have as many needs or demands. I contend that the child you are "spoiling" may indeed not be a "high need" baby.
Try taking care of a child who has a disability and then talk to me about "needs".

People are quick to diagnose the child as having needs because then they have an excuse to qualify their little brat as being a "high need" baby. I change a diaper for a seven year old child who didn't take to it's mother's breast, needed Karo syrup in it's formula to move it's bowels and had constant sinus and ear problems. These are needs not wants, he needs to be fed, changed and in good health, beyond that his needs were met. He is my son, his name is Samuel Joseph and at seven years old is still a baby in many regards. Is he a "high need" baby?

Does your child cry because if needs fed or because it has you "trained" that if it wails you will come running and pick it up? Let's not confuse what the word need really means. Parents diagnose their children to have reasons for their own failures. Children are smarter that most parents give them credit for being, they divide and conquer and they "want" what they can't have.

I read a story about how a woman complained her first three babies were so much easier to care for but this last one just seems to cry for no reason and wants to be at her breast constantly. Feed this child, burp it and put it down! You are spoiling that child because of your feeling guilty it is crying.

The child's NEEDS have been met, and the child needs to deal with reality. The entire world is not going to cater to it's constant griping and complaining to get it's way. Like the "boy that cried wolf", after so much noise the child will be ignored or possible avoided by

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