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a good description, but fractured in a sense that something happened and the brain had to protect itself and thus the body.

There is one thing I have to say, the person, let's say me, I am responsible for what the actions of my alters whether I know what they did or not, I am the host for them, I am responsible. To me a defense to use MPD/DID to get out of trouble is not good. You have to face the fact you are traumatized, that you have a disorder that can be worked with and that you are in charge of your life, they don't control you, they make come out and take over, but you are still responsible. I know it can cause a legal nightmare and why so many people may want to discredit it's existence but that does no good. Good therapy, a support system can help you learn about yourself, your alters and help you see what you do when you switch and learn what you do before you switch, learn your triggers (it is hard, I have a lot, and a lot more to learn about)but I know I am responsible for us all. I know cooperation with my inner family is essential.

Some people with MPD/DID have alters that may smoke while the host does not or drink, etc. Some alters are sick while the host is not. Some need glasses, walkers, canes, etc.

For me, I have pretty healthy alters, while I am not. I have asthma, and my alters would come out and I would not know and all of a sudden they go back and I am in the midst of a very dangerous asthma attack. My therapist has me teaching them that what happens to me happens to all of them so they are more careful when an asthma attack begins to let me be me or tell me. We are all responsible for my body for we all share it. I know to disbelievers it sounds like a fairy tale, but believe me it is not. It is so far from it that I would wish it could be and have a fairy tale ending. But this is my reality.

Someday I may know what my past held, but until then I have keepers of my memories, who have kept me safe the reality of that horror. They are as real as I am. In my mind I can see them, I can tell you what they look like, how they are dressed, their ages, their likes and dislikes. Some may believe I have an overactive imagination, and maybe I do, but I know from talking to people who know me 20+ years or more about me, it was hard to hear what they had to say when I switched, what it was like for them to see me as a 4 year old, or a teen, acting and talking that age, or my angry one blasting them for something, but I had to learn why I created them, and what they can do to help me be less Dependant on them when a crisis occurs and I go into protective mode, the only why I know how to deal with stress. I am learning to incorporate their qualities into my life, but there is a long way to go.

So, is it an over imagination? No way. It is me, a defense mechanism built to protect my mind and body from the horror I could not deal with as a 4 year old child.

Learn more about this author, Samantha Pratt-Tyler.
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