by Moe Zilla

Created on: February 03, 2008

It's fun listing the characters you hate most. Out of books, movies, and even TV shows, they've angered and annoyed you. Making a list gives a chance to document their offenses.

Below is my list of my least favorite fictional characters.

Nurse Ratched in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest." Randle McMurphy wanted fellowship with the other inmates at the asylum. He starts card games, coaches them in basketball, and even leads them all on a sunny fishing trip (with his friends Candy and Sandra). But Nurse Ratched must have order, even if it means destroying these displays of the human spirit - and maybe even the humans themselves!

Roger in "Lord of the Flies." It's a disturbing portrait of humankind gone wrong, as children shipwrecked on an island descend into chaos and violence. Readers identify with the brainy boy they call "Piggy," but he suffers a grisly fate at the hands of a hostile rival tribe of children. And it's all because Roger launched an attack with a giant boulder.

Mildred in "Of Human Bondage." William Somerset Maugham admitted that much of his novel was autobiographical. It makes it that much more painful to read about "Philip Carey" and his unrequited love for a local waitress. She re-enters his life after having someone else's child, and he takes her into his house as a housekeeper. She uses him, comes to him for money, but gives him nothing but pain.

The Hardy Boys. I read the books, but could never identify with the boy detectives. The books were originally written in the 1920s, and even with occasional updates, its characters were always several decades behind the times. (Would any kid today refer to their car as "a jalopy"?) I'd admire them if they actually had some deduction skills, but Frank and Joe Hardy were mere props. The simplistic plots moved them from one action scene to another, where they stumbled into suspicious characters and then stumbled into incriminating clues. At least the "Encyclopedia Brown" books required some thinking!

Jar Jar Binks. The "Star Wars" series was exciting. Some people call cite them as their favorite movies of all time. They were in for a nasty surprise when they settled in to watch "Phantom Menace." As Ewan McGregor launched into an exciting escape sequence, he was accompanied by a giant moron who kept interrupting. Even listening to him was painful. ("Wesa got a grand army. That's why you no liking us meesa thinks.") One "Phantom Menace" fan ultimately earned the gratitude of the entire internet community - when he re-edited the entire movie and deleted most of Jar Jar's scenes.

Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation." The same principle applies to Wesley Crusher. When you're watching an action show, you want to see action heroes - not an emo teenager who's dealing with his insecurities. Wesley Crusher would've been a great character on "Melrose Place" or "Party of Five." But unfortunately, this was a science fiction show set in the future in outer space instead!

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