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Reflections: Friendship

by Robert Griffith

Created on: February 03, 2008

My neighbor is gone and I am saddened by the loss. In the story of his passing there's a message about friendship for us all.

I met Elmer at the fence between his place and ours in 1989. He welcomed our family to our new neighborhood. A few days later he passed a pie and a platter of cookies over the fence. As the days turned to years the fence disappeared. That, in a nutshell, is Elmer's legacy.

He and his wife moved here in 1957. He built their home with his own hands, retired there, and planted a garden and an orchard. Elmer knew every fruit tree on our property because our trees were the trees the cows ate. When he first planted his seedling orchard the cows of the owner of our place broke down the fence one day and made a meal of the plantings. Chewed them right down to the ground. The seedlings were replaced, and the trees the cows ate were planted here. They all grew.

For many years every Wednesday a quiet ritual played itself out at Elmer's house. Two neighbors would visit there at lunchtime. They would have lunch, play cards, watch TV. They would always, without fail, have a beer together. One neighbor appeared faithfully every Wednesday for 14 years. The other, equally faithful, moved to Seattle a few years ago but still made pilgrimages to Elmer's place.

On that last Wednesday both men arrived to learn Elmer had died at home that morning. After a long illness he had passed in the presence of family, and his going had been peaceful. Tears were shed and they grieved together as they felt the presence of a new emptiness in the world.

Afterward, Elmer's daughter, knowing the weekly ritual, told the two friends that two beers were left in the refrigerator. After quiet consideration the two beers were gently lifted in blessing and remembrance, and the last visit was completed.

Last night I went out on my back porch and in the dark I looked over that fence which had disappeared so long ago. Elmer's legacy is one to us all. It speaks of the power present in brotherhood and constancy. What a world it would be if our leaders practiced the humble virtues of the neighborhood, where honorable compensation doubles the bounty of the orchard, where simple compassion and a faithful practice of love for others fills the years, where fences disappear, and where the human spirit shines in a local brilliance which lights the world.

See you later, Elmer. Thanks.

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