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Chores. Sounds like something tedious, deathly boring and hard work. A teenage girl when asked what children learn from doing chores replied:

'That your parents are lazy and exploit child labour.'

Hm. Very funny. But couldn't there be an element of truth to this? What your children learn from doing chores depends upon your attitude in giving them out. Of course they must be age-appropriate but also you need to have a definite intention. The keys to success are: not expecting too much; helping and advising where necessary; plenty of praise; but also being very firm about the job getting done. I helps to make chore time a fun, happy time. You can put music on and dance and be silly, as long as the jobs get done.

One motivation in handing out chores is simply to get some help. You look forward to the day when there can be extra hands to the pump. So one of the things that kids learn is that their parents need some help. If the jobs are easy for them to do and they get plenty of praise, they also learn that they are useful members of the family. If they don't get enough praise, or the jobs are too arduous, they will learn the opposite.

Another good reason for giving chores is to help kids learn self-reliance. Chores that are geared towards looking after themselves and their things equips them to keep organised.
Keeping their own rooms tidy, vacuuming, cooking, putting their own clothes in the washing machine. These all contribute to their confidence because they are learning to look after themselves. In addition, of course, they are learning actual practical skills.

'It's not fair!'

7 year olds in particular are very concerned about fairness and are quick to understand whether something is fair or not. Giving appropriate chores can help them see that there are nuances to fairness because every person in the house has to share some of the work, according to their abilities. Obviously you need to think carefully about what jobs you give to whom.

Do as I say, not as I do

Kids can learn respect for themselves and other people through doing chores. If they see everyone sharing the jobs fairly, rather than one person, usually Mum, bearing the whole burden alone, they learn that everyone in the family is as important as everyone else. It is equally important that they don't see one privileged person who never has to do anything.

Chores done together in a spirit of co operation can really help a child learn about working together, which will be useful to him in lots of situations in his life. This will make social interaction much easier for him.

Last of all children learn what we all learn from doing chores: A sense of satisfaction in achievement. People who never did chores as a child, who have never had to do something yucky that they really don't like, has missed out on that wonderful smug feeling you get when these jobs are done. In later life it can be hard to face up to all the things we have to do that we don't want to do, without this early grounding.

So give your kids chores. Just make sure it is with loving consideration for their needs and abilities and what they learn will help to set them up for the rest of their lives

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Learn more about this author, Briar Shaw.
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