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send the email earlier than your boss gets to work as it creates the illusion you've been up sick for awhile. I also recommend typing the email before you intend to get drunk and saving it as a draft; otherwise it will look like this:

"Jackk, you old crazy guy! I can bearly tipe this and femail. look at circles cool! Willn ot bee in ttoday. Yoou come hear! Got to go befoore passing oit. Koldac.sddkjj"

The differences may be subtle, but to a scrutinizing boss, one misplaced comma can raise a red flag of doubt.

Excuse #3: I have an interview. First of all, congratulations on taking the first step in leaving your crummy job! Since this situation is quite delicate, you'll want to exercise total discretion. The last thing you need is for your boss to discover you're out job hunting when you should be in the office surfing the Internet. Here's a sample approach:

"Oh, hey Mark. Glad I caught you. I had an unexpected emergency come up, and unfortunately I won't be in today. It stinks that I'll miss your five hour presentation on how to organize file folders. I'll probably be in tomorrow."

Luckily, the definition of emergency depends upon each person's perspective, and if you believe it's an emergency to get a new job, then by all means, it is. Also, by saying "I'll probably be in tomorrow", you're laying the foundation for calling off a second consecutive day. It's likely you'll want to celebrate after the interview, which will then mandate the use of either Excuse #1 or Excuse #2.

Excuse #4: There's a "Leave it to Beaver" marathon on cable. This is one of those rare excuses that is OK to leave unaltered. No boss would expect an employee to come into work when such a wholesome classic is being shown in its glorious entirety. In case you need help with the call, here's a little guidance:

"Janice, hi. LITB is on all day today, so I'll see you tomorrow."

By abbreviating the show's title, you demonstrate an unspoken bond between you and your boss. She knows about LITB. Trust me, she knows, and she understands.

From these simple examples, you can see the role that honesty plays in helping you call off work. Embrace reality, use what you know to be true, and most importantly, enjoy your day off.

Learn more about this author, Ken Reigle.
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