25 of 33

Write now Article Tools

Let's be honest. When you call off from work sick, you're not really that sick. Most of the time, you're not even sick at all. If you were sick, why would you waste a day off? It's OK to admit it. Go ahead and admit it to yourself right now. I'll wait.

There, doesn't simple acknowledgment of reality feel better than forced denial?

Unless you're Anthony Hopkins, don't even attempt to sound sick on the phone. If possible, ask Anthony Hopkins to call your boss and pretend to be sick for you instead. And then ask him to say the liver and Chianti line from "Silence of the Lambs", if only to send a chill down your boss's back. Everyone else that doesn't have unfettered access to Mr. Hopkins, keep reading.

As a general rule, every excuse for not going to work should be grounded in an element of reality. This will help make the excuse sound more believable, while at the same time giving your mind an ounce of truth to cling to.

Here are a few hypothetical scenarios and associated tips for putting a believable spin on the real reason behind your desired absence.

Excuse #1: I'm hung over. You certainly don't want to tell your boss you can't come to work because you were up all night slurping down $2 Jell-O shots. So what do we have to play with here? Dehydration, potential vomiting, headache all excellent bits of raw material waiting to be sculpted into excuse-worthy gold. Your obligatory phone call should sound something like this:

"Hi Cathy? I'm sorry I won't be able to come in today. I have this dreadful headache, and I'm feeling a bit nauseous. I should probably stay home and drink lots of fluids."

If desired, you can prolong the first syllable of the word "dreadful", which will make you sound somewhat British, thereby adding to the effect. Keep the conversation short and whatever you do, don't try to ad-lib! Also remember to substitute your boss's name for "Cathy", else you risk blowing the whole performance. I once called my boss "Cathy", and he didn't like it at all.

Excuse #2: I'm drunk. Maybe the party ended later than you thought it would, and you're still a little tipsy. Perhaps more than a little tipsy. Possibly tanked. This is trickier, since your boss is likely to recognize a drunken slur, regardless of how stupid you think he is. Your best option is to send an email. Here's a sample:

"Jack, I'm feeling horrible. I can barely type this email because my head is spinning. I won't be in today, obviously. I have to run before I pass out."

This approach works best if you

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Best excuses for calling in sick?
We want to hear your view. Write now!