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Lessons to learn from children

by Frederick Lee

Created on: February 02, 2008   Last Updated: September 27, 2009

Children have the wonderful capacity to teach us not only about our world, but more importantly, about ourselves. Most of us are understandably preoccupied with the pressing issues of our daily lives. In this high-stress, anxiety ridden environment, it is hard to imagine that anyone would take time out of their busy schedules to re-examine the life cycle of the monarch butterfly or once again learn the importance of sharing. This is the tragedy of becoming a responsible adult, and while the motives of our children might not always be so altruistic, we can ultimately thank them for forcing us to reacquaint ourselves with what's really valuable to us.

When we first thought of having a family, I naively believed that after my own Quixotic odyssey in life, I had seen or done it all and had nothing left to learn (talk about being delusional). Once our first child was born, however, I was tested in ways that I could never have even imagined, though I learned a great deal about myself and what I could accomplish along the way.

You see, as a self-professed quitter, I'd lived my entire bachelor existence with one principle to guide me - when the going got tough, I got going. Out the door, that is. My knee jerk response to most challenges was to turn and walk away. To make matters worse, while I bided my time before my big exit, I would whine like a baby. For all it's worth, and I know it's not worth much, this embarrasses me to no end.

Then we had children, and boy did things change. Not only did the top three simple pleasures in my life (food, sex and sleep, in that order) take a beating, they pretty much ceased to exist. And I couldn't run away like I would have in the past because parenting, unlike most of the previous trials in my life, doesn't come with a built-in exit strategy. Sure, some guys take the lower road and run out on their families, but they aren't even worth mentioning here.

So I employed my default coping mechanism and started to whine. What else was I supposed to do? While whining is at best a self-indulgent exercise in futility, it did teach me two very important lessons about being a parent. One, whining is the last thing my wife wanted to hear after a sleepless night feeding the baby. And two, my kids happen to whine a lot better than their me, so what's the point?

This led me to realize that, just as much as our children, parents are here to learn. Though some of us may well feel that kids have nothing to teach us, I would argue that we've completely

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