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American society judges the success of a man by his career and money. There are no points for a romantic marriage, a good relationship with his children or involvement in his community, so career is where he puts his energy and focus. It is time for Americans to redefine success. In a recent radio broadcast, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach said it best: A man is not a success when the people who mean the most to him, think the least of him.

With success comes happiness. It's becoming clear that as Americans improve the standard of living and amass more material possessions, they are not happier. Studies show that one in three women has been prescribed an anti-depressant. Depression in men is much less understood but current thinking is that other symptoms men exhibit may actually be signs of depression, symptoms such as alcohol and drug use, increased hostility, sleep disturbances, and sexual dysfunction. Men in their 40's, 50's and 60's are the most depressed of all. (clevelandclinic.org/health/he alth-info)

The fourth decade, the decade of the midlife crisis, is the age that men start to take a look at the level of success they have achieved. A man judges himself against the likes of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Tom Brady. He assesses the value of his house, his cars, and his bank account and decides that he is a loser. Add to this that his teenage children don't talk to him, his daughter is having sex with her boyfriend and his son is into drugs. His only conversations with them are to ask that they come home at a decent hour.

When men hate themselves, they hate their wives, too. If he is a loser, she must also be a loser because she is with him. They turn to the TV, sports, alcohol, drugs, extra-marital affairs, or porn to help them feel good about themselves. It's no wonder that the American family is falling apart.

The divorce rate in America, as everyone knows, is around 50%. It is not a male phenomenon of men leaving their wives but of women leaving because they are tired of feeling unloved and being ignored.

According to Readers Digest (2/8/08), only 17% of families have a family dinner at home each evening, even though we know that kids who eat meals with their family do better in school and are less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. The home has become the place where a group of individuals live together but don't interact or support each other. Not exactly the picture we had in mind when we dreamed of success.

As a country, we are considered a wealthy nation

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