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over to new, greener energy sources. Heck, I don't even mind that he admittedly does little or nothing to reduce his own carbon footprint. I mean, like he says-he doesn't need to because he's already doing his part by being so gracious as to run around to all those speaking engagements and by investing all that money in our greener future. What sacrifice! It is my opinion that he should be sainted, knighted, and possibly even declared some sort of living deity for his bravery and selflessness.

I've heard it purported by various naysayers and whackos that the sun is somehow responsible for the Earth's current warming trend. Given that all of such crazy folk fall outside the mainstream popular view, I think it must go without saying that they are obviously quite hilariously wrong. I've heard them spit out numbers and figures and all that whack-job hooey, but I'm far from being swayed, for I won't fall victim to their paranoid cult and its Siren songs. Who cares that the Sun comprises over 98% of the mass of the entire solar system? Not me. It's millions of miles away. How could it have such a drastic and deadly effect on us? I don't care if it is so powerful that it produces enough energy in a single second to run every electrical gadget and light fixture and appliance on Earth for an entire lifetime without showing the slightest drain. I mean, there's a big difference between powering my oven to cook my dinner and powering a planet to cook all of us humans, right? So I don't believe all those margin-dwelling kooks with their wild-eyed, wacky ideas of heliogenic warming. It just doesn't add up. Especially since we already know what evil, horrible monsters all those oil and gas and coal companies are-so it makes so much more sense that it's all their fault. Can I get an amen, somebody?

I am also aware that quaint little resolutions and treaties such as the Kyoto Protocol will bankrupt the United States economy with all the sanctions and strenuous requirements and demands put on companies, forcing them to implement very costly air-cleaning technologies (many of which are barely effective anyway). Beyond that, I know that, since say, for example, the Kyoto Protocol, puts little or no such restriction upon countries such as India and China with burgeoning economies which are starting to make a real mark on the world economy, that they will quickly outbid and overrun American companies, thereby sealing the fate of the US economy that much more swiftly and surely. But

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