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No

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No! That was very simple to answer. Now, let me elaborate:

Going back many years when my own children were little, we were a very close knit family with aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I had two boys and one girl, and my sister had two girls and one boy. We use to play "musical kids", if you will. We often paired off the two oldest, the two youngest and the two middle age. That would end up being boy/girl (oldest two), boy/boy (youngest two), and girl/girl (the two middle children). This scenario would often involve our parents who would take two of the children one weekend, and two different ones the next. The kids loved it!

Not ever did it occur to any of the children to ask for friend coed sleepovers. By the time they were in school their closest friends were the children of our closest friends. Only one child was allowed to invite a sleepover friend at a time, and those friends were, of course, same-sex friends.

Perhaps because it was back when things were different, but when they were teenagers they would have "Pajama Parties". Even then they were not coed. In fact, I'm not sure when it became acceptable to have coed sleepovers, but I would guess it began when some extremely liberal parent decided that everybody should "get over it" and that kids were kids and had a right to invite all of their friends! Not a big stretch to follow the trail to where that has led. But, I digress...

I feel that it is a moral issue involved here. It isn't enough to teach moral values to children, we must also set examples. If you allow coed sleepovers, how in the world can you teach children that girls and boys shouldn't sleep together? Before you jump all over that statement by saying "not in the same bed", let me enlighten you to the fact that eventually, that is where it will lead. We cannot be just a little bit permissive on one issue and then forbidding on another. Kids reach that independent stage soon enough when we must keep our fingers crossed every time they go out and pray they have actually embraced all that we have tried to teach them.

As for the question of having coed sleepovers younger than 10, I stick to my answer of no! Should they have coed sleepovers when they are older? Again, a resounding absolute, unequivocal no! There is just no logical reason for doing so. Common sense is the one ingredient that seems to be missing in parenting these days.

Learn more about this author, Donna Marie Gray.
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