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It's hard to define adulthood, or rather pinpoint when it is a human being reaches this status. Legally, it's on our eighteenth birthday, but who among us feels any different simply because a few more pages have been torn from the calendar? I believe that it is different for everybody. For some, adulthood comes gradually. Without realizing it, one slowly amasses more and more responsibilities and steps nimbly into maturity. For others, it happens all at once. I remember the instant I grew up.

I was in a CVS drug store parking lot with my girl friend at the time, Sarah. We were arguing about one thing or another and driving in circles around the store trying to figure out what we were going to do next. I was never one for bickering, and jumped at the opportunity to change the subject when I felt my cell phone vibrate. The screen flashed a name I hadn't seen in quite some time. It was my friend Matt. We hadn't talked much since graduation about a year earlier, so I was elated to get a call from him. I looked over at Sarah and flashed an over exaggerated smile as I flipped open the phone. She rolled her eyes and looked out the passenger window.

"Hey Matt! How's it going man I haven't heard from you in forever?"

"Oh man, you didn't hear did you?"

I felt sick. Matt was the kind of kid who was always loud and full of life, the kind of person that made it impossible for anyone around him to be in a bad mood. The bright and flashy tone I had grown up with was replaced with a near whisper that sounded like it was struggling just to be uttered. In all the years I had known him, this was the first time I had ever heard him use this tone. I swallowed hard and began to shake. A million things ran through my mind. I was almost afraid to go on with the conversation.

"What are you talking about? What's wrong?" My voice barely escaped my lips. Sarah turned around slowly with worry in her eyes as I clenched mine shut and braced for the impact.

"Dude, Nicole hung herself. I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this."

I dropped the phone. For a moment, time seemed to slow down. I couldn't breathe. My eyes, held shut for impact, burst open in tears. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sarah reaching for me. Her mouth was moving, but all I heard was my own heartbeat reverberating through my head. It was pounding. I felt as though my brain was trying to force its way through my skull with every pulse. I grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and squeezed as hard as I could until

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