Melissa

She was in her 50s just like me when we met through my gentleman friend over 5 years ago. We immediately clicked, plus we had something in common we both had chronic, long-term illnesses. I had had M.E. for 21 years and she had had M.S. for 25 years. Although different symptoms, the problems we had were the same the way the illness had completely altered our lives; the way we coped with each day; the way we were with our loved ones, and the way other people just didn't understand. All these things we had in common and, right from day one, there was an empathy between us that only comes from truly knowing not imagining what the other one is talking about when they refer to their illness. The other thing that Melissa and I had in common was that we both had one child and we had brought our children up with our illnesses so, again, we seemed to understand the problems we had both encountered.

She was always a pleasure to be around, she always made us feel welcome, and she had a wonderful sense of humor, plus she and her husband enjoyed the same kind of music as me and my gentleman friend did. She never harped on about her illness as there were so many other things or interest to talk about let's face it talking about one's illness can be very boring both for the person with the illness and for those on the receiving end!

We visited them many times over the 5 years I knew her. Then I had a really bad winter and, by February 2007, my ME had taken a downward turn and I had no choice but to stop work. I really did not know what to do with myself all I have known for such a long time was struggling to work, eat, sleep that had been my life. Suddenly, I had the luxury of being able to sleep as long as I wanted and just take my time. When you have a long-term illness and are trying desperately to hold a job down and bring up a family, you don't have any time for leisure activities or just the basic social pleasures. I had found a social life through work with a man I had met but it was much hit and miss and very much something that I had yearned for but really had to push myself to the limit to keep hold of. At that particular time, Melissa was having a bad time with her M.S. and she asked me, knowing that I felt a total failure at not being able to carry on working, if I would like to help her one morning a week do the housework as she was really struggling and she didn't seem to get on with any of the helpers she had. I was also

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Memoirs: Death of a friend?
We want to hear your view. Write now!