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Satire

Satire: Life

PUFF

My sincerest, profoundest rants on the word - puff. Not Honah Lee. Not a dragon. Not a little boy. Society.

Exquisite people recoil at the sight of puffy morning eyes. They reach for the almost empty tube of hemorrhoid cream before daring to ask, " Mirror mirror on the wall whose now got the flattest eyes of us all?" Kings and Queens in their palaces rejoice when the reflective object responds, "Not Snow White. You are by far the most perfect of all within your tiny narrow-minded world. Strike a pose. Be vain all day. You deserve it after spending the late morning hours soothing your eyes with buttocks cream."

Chiseled chinned people, around the globe, brag about luxurious possessions thereby puffing up their egos for the next round of I Will Die with the Most Unused Toys Because I Worked Harder and Longer Hours Than Anyone in the Universe'. The Chiseled Chinned Society of Workaholics Anonymous will be hosting this year's awards ceremony. The winner will proudly declare, "I am master of my universe, your universe, and everyone else's universe even without a 4 foot sword!"

Third-world citizens suffer by what begins as a puff of wind followed by a deluge. Wait, one developed nation also suffers from similar weather conditions that apparently not even a superpower with superfluous resources can combat. Well, at least not able to combat in a minority ridden, poor section of a small state. Maybe, the battle would have been won in a majority ridden, rich section of a large state. Worse yet, was that the end? Do those of us remaining represent the ones left behind? Are we in HELL?

As to not seem like a puffing kind of woman, here are my sincerest, profoundest raves on the word - puff.

Exquisite people have no worries if your booty lotion disappears. It does not matter if you have run out or if someone has stolen it because powder puffs may be found in abundance at your local salon, beauty counter, and make-up aisle. They are soft not unlike your unblemished, china doll-like features. Simply apply the cover-up to the powder puff and gently dab under your eye. Use caution when applying the make-up as you do not want to hit the inside of your eye. If this happens, do not run out and buy more hemorrhoid cream. This will just aggravate the situation. Simply rinse with some cool water, regular tap water, not mineral water. Voila! That did not work? C'est la vie. Snow White wins today. Stay inside. Do not show


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