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'If only I had... ' Hindsight can turn a good day, mistake included, into an unforgettably awful one. On the other hand, when a similar situation rolls around the second time, you can avoid a potentially rotten week through a lesson well-learned. Whether you're grateful for being able to look back or not will depend on which of the two cases applied to you!

The other factor that decides if hindsight is good for you or not is your own personality. Are you optimistic and take everything life throws at you in your stride? Or do you brood endlessly, never being able to get rid of your negative thoughts?

The key to ensure you use your reflections as a useful tool is acknowledge the mistake, pick what you can from the mess and move on. Okay, you forgot your purse in the bus and this means you've lost a lot of money and some valuable cards. What do you do about it? Find out if there is some way of tracing the purse. Resolve to keep it slung over your neck in case you forget it. Now think about something else. You're bound to feel badly as long as you let it so don't dwell on it. Tell yourself, that may have gone badly but I'm going to save money by learning from it.

Singer and actress Helen Reddy said, 'Hindsight is wonderful. It's always very easy to second guess after the fact.' So so true that you could bang your head remembering all the obvious, in-your-face cues that you keep missing all your life. It gets difficult keeping these mantras alive when simple errors in judgment cost plenty in terms of dreams and happiness. But when your ruminations are failing to turn up any positive course of action, it's time to clear your head. With a fresh mind, all those developing thoughts often fall into their proper places and you will experience what psychologists call the 'ah!' moment - a sudden illumination of the solution.

I've found that writing, especially if I address it to somebody (real or imaginary) helps me get rid of repetitive negative thoughts. Alternately, some people might find talking or getting into physical activity refreshing. Be aware of your feelings and identify your guilt, anxiety or fear. Don't allow other people's negativism pull you down.

Furthermore, hindsight is an evolutionary trait. The creative process, as any writer will tell you, depends on criticism and feedback. If men could not picture the world around them being better and more convenient than what they'd already invented, maybe we still would have been utterly satisfied with cart-like vehicles that dragged on planks of wood. If Newton hadn't sat back and thought, 'hmm, why did that apple have to go and fall on my head', he might never have become famous!

When you train yourself to use hindsight to your advantage, you will gain confidence about yourself, the decisions you make and the consequences they bear. I've made a lot of blunders - big ones - but my experience and reflections have given me wisdom that I will, if I can, pass on to my child.

Learn more about this author, Ayesha M.
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