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Imagine the scene: a railway station, 7.30am on a cold, misty Monday morning. I am wearing *the* coat; *the* coat is double breasted, scarlet, ankle length and has earned me the nickname The General by more than one friend. To accessorize, I am wearing a red and brown velvet scarf and a brown angora pill box hat. I am Julie Christie in "Dr Zhivago" and I look the business.

The train arrives and the doors open on an already crowded carriage where people are studiously ignoring each other as well as they can given that they are close enough to count each others ribs. There is no space for me so I dash along to the next carriage. Here, I find just enough room for my feet. I clamber in and lean slightly forward, because I have to make sure that the doors can close behind me. The door mechanism starts to beep and the doors slide shut. I've done it! I am on the train so I do not have to wait 30 minutes for the next, equally crowded one. I don't have to hold on because it is so full that there is nowhere to fall and anyway, I can just lean back against the doors. Whoops, a bit shaky there, but no problem because something is holding me back.

It is at this point that I realise that my extravagant and deeply loved coat is trapped in the doors behind me. And not just a rogue corner, but all the way from the backside to the hem. I have suddenly switched from Julie Christie to Buster Keaton. My mind starts racing. I know that these doors do not open at any point between here and up to and including my final destination. I begin to tug discreetly at my coat, but because there is no room, I can't get any real leverage and so the coat sticks fast. To my mind, I have three options: 1) wait until I get to my destination, wait for people to leave and then tug like fury, 2) go to my destination, stay on the train which I know will return to a stop where the doors will open on the right side and I can leave, get onto the underground and make my way to work or if all goes horribly wrong, 3) get to my destination, wait for people to get off, get out of my coat and leave it hanging there. (Obviously, this would cause a possible manhunt as they try to find the body to go with the coat, but this is a minor consideration!)

The eagle eyed amongst you will notice that there is not an option 4) ask for help. I want to be inconspicuous - well, as inconspicuous as someone dressed like an extra from a bad production of "War and Peace" can look. Being seen as someone with an eccentric style

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