by Nicole Williams

Created on: January 29, 2008

A child custody battle can be an extremely emotional and stressful time for both parents and the children involved. The first thing you must realize is that there is no way around the stress and emotional disturbance. However, you can take actions to minimize the stress.

1. The Child Comes First

No matter what else is going on between you and the other parent, always remember that the child and his or her needs come first. When thinking about how to proceed with custody and visitation, consider what's it the child's best interest and not as much on what you want.

When considering this, take into account where the child is currently living. Are they living with you or with the other parent? Is this a safe and healthy environment? How does the child feel about the living arrangements?

You may need to get a counselor for your child so that he or she has an impartial person to talk to concerning the issues of the separation and what the child truly wants. The child will be more willing to talk to someone who they know won't get their feelings hurt when they express how they feel or what they want.

2. Legal Advise

I strongly suggest getting an attorney. Getting a good attorney can minimize a lot of your stress. When you do so, you will have eliminated a lot of work and stress for you and put it into a neutral partys hands. This will make your life a whole lot easier.

The best way to find a good attorney is to ask friends, family, and coworkers. Don't just ask for names, get information from them on why they would recommend that particular attorney. Interview a few attorneys before making a decision.

3. Attempt to Agree On As Much As Possible

Your attorney will agree that the more that you and the other parent can settle on out of court, the better it will be for everyone involved. There are options for impartial parties to help in this process such as your and the other parent's attorneys, a mediator, or perhaps a counselor that's been appointed for the child.

4. Document Everything

Even if you don't feel it to be necessary, document everything that involves the custody battle. If you are the parent that currently has physical custody of the child, document what the agreed upon visitation was and when on each day the other parent actually took the child and for how long. Document the child's demeanor upon return. Document anything that you feel is or may be pertinent.

If you are the parent that doesn't currently live with your child, document when you see your child

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