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Funny I should stumble across this topic. Sometimes our inner children are best left alone.

About 3 months ago I met a very attractive girl. On a scale of one to ten, she was an eleven. Having been recently divorced, I decided it was finally time to get back out into the swing of things. A few things have changed now that I'm in my forties, and it's been twenty years since I was last on the prowl; however the basic primal urges between men and women have lasted for thousands of years. How much could have changed? I was about to find out.

After weeks of getting ready to get ready, I finally made the decision to call this little darling back. We had been introduced at a dinner party at a friends place, and my promise to keep in touch was not being kept. Not because I didn't like her, I just thought she was out of my league.

Now well past the point where I'd appear over-anxious, I was up for some rejection and called my friend to get Susan's number. After consuming enough liquid courage to stop my voice from shaking, yet not so much to create a slur, I dialed. She accepted my invitation to dinner the following evening.

Dinner went exceptionally. All of the coaching my friend provided worked well. He told me not to mention my ex-wife at all, and if the subject came up, not to call her by the curse-words I often described her by. Lie and say nice things about her, I was advised. The second pearl of wisdom was to issue compliments like crazy, as if each one had a condom attached to it, one she would save for later. I liked his positive thinking approach.

Dinner was going great and when I asked her if I could see her again, she suggested I tag along to a seminar she was going to the following day, something about finding your inner child.

After excusing myself to visit the men's room, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly contacted my mentor to see how I should handle this situation.

"That's right! Some crap about an inner child I don't know You think she's what?... A pedophile?... No she couldn't be, I don't have any kids... Yes I'm sure she didn't say anything about my little guy, she said 'inner child'... Sure she's worth it... Yes you're right, what's an afternoon... Yes maybe she'll want to play with the little guy after that... Am I supposed to cry at these things?... You're right, you're the least sensitive guy I know... I should know better than to consult you about this type of issue."

Confident with my coaching and willing to invest an afternoon to get to know

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