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Siblings

Being a twin

A twin holds a unique position. This occurs whether they are the only siblings, or two amongst other children, and irrespective of similarities in physical looks or gender. The experiences that I will discuss here come from the direct experience of being one of twins, with three older and three younger siblings.

A twin is affected by a dichotomy of psychological, physical and emotional structure unlike that of a non-twin human being. Many of these attributes, whilst present from the time of birth, will be reinforced during a twin's formative years. All of these will follow them throughout their lives.

Within a family unit where there are other siblings, a twin will at the same time experience a sense of togetherness and separation from the rest of the family unit. The togetherness results from their unique relationship. It is a togetherness, which cannot be shared with others. However, whilst they are part of the family biologically and gain a special togetherness resulting from their unique relationship, their genetic difference separates them from other siblings and even parents. A single brother or sister can relate totally to each other because they both have the same experiences and knowledge of what it is like to be a sibling. However, the experiences of being a twin creates that small area of separation between them and non-twin siblings and it is something they will never be able to share. Similarly parents cannot relate to twins in the same way as they do other children, simply because they can neither view nor relate to a twin in the absolute way they do with a single child. There will forever be the unbreakable connection in the parent's mind of the unification of one twin with the other.

As a result, growing up as a twin provides different emotional experiences. Firstly, there is a sense of aloneness. Due solely to their distinctive position, a twin will never have the full attention that a single child has; never be totally separated from the other twin; always be considered as one of two.

Secondly, they lack totality of emotional commitment from other family members. This is not to say that there is a fault or blame to be attached to anyone, because there is not, it a natural process that cannot be avoided. If there is two children in a family, one say of six and the other twelve, each of those children will receive the total love of their parents, a love that has developed with that one child to that specific age. A twin will


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Being a twin

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Being a twin

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