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No, babies shouldn't be allowed to cry themselves to sleep. Not just because it seems like a heartless thing to do, but simply because of the fact that crying is the only form of communication for kids that age. A child could be hungry, thirsty, wet or sick! They can't possibly come and inform us as to what's bothering them, especially in the middle of the night!

Sometimes, my daughter gets up in the middle of the night, groaning and crying in pain. I've been told by my doctor that she's going through what is known as growing pains. As a child grows, sometimes their muscles stretch faster than their bones and that could be very painful. As tempted as I'm to ignore my daughter's cries in the middle of the night, it just wouldn't be fair on her. We need to attend to their every need, no matter how little or how big.

More than these immediate physical needs, children also have some emotional needs. Sometimes, they just want to be hugged after some terrifying dream in the night. How can we decide which need is important and which is not, unless we attend to a child who's crying?

I agree that sometimes a child cries just to get our attention. They just want to be cuddled and feel protected. Every time we respond to their needs, they feel more protected and closer to us. They learn to trust that if something was bothering them, we would at least make an attempt to take care of it. With time, as that trust builds, they won't feel the need to cry just to get our attention. They will learn to appreciate that in real times of need, we'' always be there for them. For every child, that time of understanding is different. As parents, we need to be patient, till the child reaches that level of understanding.

Of course, there needs to be some balance in everything. With time, parents learn to differentiate between true needs and just seeking attention. My daughter, for example loves to take medicines. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when her sleep gets disturbed, she simply wakes up and starts screaming uh-oh. Somehow, my three year old has figured it out that screaming uh-oh gets her medicine! Now, its just not healthy for me to give her medication whenever she screams. I tried to ignore her for some time, but that never worked. Then I started giving her water in her medicine cup, explaining to her that it was white-medicine. That worked like magic. It continued for a few days, but soon she stopped doing it, as she realised that her need was being met when it was necessary. I could have ignored her and let her cry herself to sleep. But, I would always have been anxious as to when the pain was genuine and when she was faking it. This way, I get to be sure that the pain wasn't real and she has the satisfaction of knowing that I do care! A win-win for everybody.

Some people might feel that this is pampering and spoiling a child, but I call it ... building of trust and love in our children, which will in turn make them a balanced and loving adults!

Learn more about this author, Sangeetha Narayan.
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