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Healing from toxic relationships

by Lane Trawick

Created on: January 28, 2008

There is a difference between healthy relationships that deal with difficulties and difficult relationships that cannot manage to exist without being in a constant state of crisis. Sometimes, a difficult relationship can be nurtured into a healthy one; but, an unhealthy relationship that goes way beyond being difficult, as rarely, if ever, able to become manageable; let alone, healthy, because it lacks the ability to maintain a stable emotional environment. The characteristics of an emotionally unstable relationship tend to affect more than just feelings. A severely unstable relationship can distribute so much stress that it affects physical health, as well as, the ability to maintain personal responsibilities at home and on the job. Such a relationship has come to be known as "toxic."

A toxin is substance when infused, injected, or exposed by proximity, causes a destructive result. Some toxins have an immediate effect; while others, require exposure to them over time to do their damage. From deadly neurotoxins, such as from venomous snake bite, to the damage of alcohol abuse, poison, in any form, has a deteriorating effect. Detoxification (otherwise known as "Detox,") is the process to purge a toxin from the body to promote healing from its effects. Originally associated with alcoholism, Detox has come to include overcoming the harmful effects of all kinds of toxic dependencies and addictions. As with any other toxin, healing from a toxic relationship is just as important for one's health and well-being. Given the duration of exposure and the intensity of a relationship's toxicity, it may require some time and effort to heal from its negative effect.

"So, what determines if a relationship is a toxic one?" A "toxic relationship" is labeled such because of the intense turmoil and conflict within it. Unlike a mutually supportive relationship, a toxic relationship cannot maintain unity because it suffers from internal sabotage. In most cases, the internal conflict overshadows anything from without. In other words, a couple fights more against each other than they do together against outside challenges. The turmoil comes from within the relationship causes it to constantly battle against implosion. While difficulties, such as financial pressure, illness, or injury present challenges to any relationship, a toxic relationship will manufacture its own crisis'; thus, helping to create financial and physical problems, if they don't already exist. Simply put, a toxic

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