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Healing is no easy feat. Experiencing grief over a relationship that ended, no matter how toxic is difficult. You will miss this person, whether it is a spouse, significant other, It is a great opportunity to improve one's self and pay attention to those activities or people you may have let go during the relationship.

Understand that you will be enduring a form of the five stages of grief, and you may go back and forth between them. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Take care of yourself this time including sleeping enough, exercise, eating meals even if they are small, connecting with others, recharging spiritually and taking time for yourself. Realize too, grief can be exhausting, so do not overcommit yourself or make large purchases and decisions at this time.

Take time to cry and write "unsent" letters if this will help you. Do not forget to remember the good times you had with that person. Also, talk with clergy, trusted friends and family members. Do not overburden any single individual or repeatedly bad-mouth the other individual, this will drag you down.

Realize at first every day could be difficult at first. Consult a medical doctor if you feel you may need an antidepressant or anti anxiety medication to help you through the most difficult phases. It is not a sign of weakness, but a tool to help you through the days that lie ahead.

Do not blame yourself or let the other person blame you. He or she is hurting also. Do not continue interacting with the other person, delete all emails, messages and do not return phone calls.

If you have lived together and are still in the same place, consider moving and starting fresh. Get rid of painful reminders of your relationship. If you are working together or are in a group together, change positions, groups or companies.

Engage in activities that will be healthy, including exercising at a health club. Exercise will boost your mood and take your mind off of the relationship. Learn a new skill or even take a one-night class. Do activities outside your comfort zone and set new goals for yourself. Crafts, taking and local recreation classes can do wonders for your frame of mind and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Purge your home of photos and memories of the relationship. You would not need to dispose of these permanently, putting them away in a box in the garage, attic or shed would do just fine. And in the future if you are ready, you can remove them permanently from your home and life.

Realize that you deserve better than what you were given, and while this particular relationship was toxic for you, this is rare. Do not let it dash your hopes for future healthy relationships. There are thousands of books and resources on relationships as well as grief.

Seek out those around you that will support and hold you up. Stay away from those that will not. Take steps to strengthen your inner resolve, spirit and self confidence. Take classes or join support groups if necessary.

If you are still having trouble after some time has gone by or feel worse, check with your insurance company, church, community or United Way for counseling resources. This can often provide the closure you seek.

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