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The Brady Bunch, television's first blended family, is from days long forgotten, unless you catch a re-run on cable. We live in a different, more active time, and let's face it - there never really was an Alice, was there? The solution to the ongoing challenges of living in and raising children in a blended family will not be found on the television, but in a good percentage of the homes in our nation today. I am both a mother and a step-mother; and, seven children later, we know realistically we will never achieve that perfection that can only be found on TV, but feel we are on the right path to success and happiness in our blended family. I guarantee the issues that will come up over the years will start from day one, so you as parents need to be prepared to stand up to the challenges. I feel there are three major aspects of a blended family that must be weaved to create balance and success.

First, make sure the potential step-parent has the ability to care about, if not love your children. If the step-parent is able to show concern, compassion and understanding towards the children, it goes a long way in developing the relationship. It would appear it is sometimes easier when both partners have children; we all know there are people who do not have children because they do not want children. If the step-parent desires to ship the children off to boarding school at dawns first light, it is a sure bet they don't like children, much less want to develop a relationship with them.

Second, one of the most difficult issues parents in blended families must deal with is how and when to discipline the children. Children would like you to believe that the step-parent has no right to discipline, but I strongly disagree. My opinion is the only way for a blended family to succeed is that both parents must stand by and support each other while having equal power in disciplining the children. Do not let the children play one parent against the other, and believe me they will; they have the ability and are not afraid to wield their power when given the chance. If there is an older child in the house that does not have to listen to the step-parent, we run the risk of the younger children rebelling against the discipline because the older child was allowed to. It is hard to get our own children to listen at times, much less our step-children. It is much simpler to have the same rules for all of the children instead of several different ones.

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