5 of 10

Write now Article Tools

My parents have taught me a lot over the years, but I think I've learned the most from them as elderly people. What I learned wasn't from hearing their wise words, but from watching them as they coped with different situations in life in their older years.

I am an only child, and even though I attended college in a nearby town, I never lived too far away from my parents. When I married and had children, my husband and our family also lived very close to my parents. This is why it came as such a shock to them when we had to move to a different state, due to my husband's job transfer. Unfortunately, my parents didn't handle this well, and although they were okay for a little while, their mental and physical health began to decline. During those years, I found myself spending lots of time on the phone, trying to arrange for care for them. They finally agreed to move to the state I was living in at the time. As we were all adjusting to this new phase in our lives, my dad fell and broke his hip, and that began a series of stressful and unpleasant events in all our lives. This very difficult time lasted for a little over two years, until my father's death.

Even though this particular time in my life was extremely stressful, I also learned a lot. Both of my parents had health issues during that time, but my dad's health was declining more rapidly than my mom's health. After a long hospitalization with a life threatening illness, he became a permanent resident of a nursing home. Unfortunately, he was hospitalized many times while residing in the nursing home. Most of these hospitalizations were due to falls that resulted in fractures or broken bones. Interestingly enough, it was during this time and these frequent hospital stays that I think I learned the most from my dad.

Several of my dad's hospitalizations were due to life threatening illnesses, and I witnessed him endure some very unpleasant medical treatments. He always seemed to weather the storms of these difficult medical issues with dignity, and without complaint. What I learned was that my father had a very quiet, inner strength that wasn't readily apparent by his outside appearance. My mother also began to realize how strong he really was when she, along with me, observed my dad go through yet another medical problem.

I also learned that my dad had quite a sense of humor. My dad had a slight dementia, but he always knew family members. One day, however, I became very concerned because my mom walked into his hospital room with a new hairdo, and he immediately said "Who is that?", pointing at my mother. She didn't seem alarmed, but I was very concerned. I was only concerned for a few seconds because my dad began to grin, and that's when I realized that he had a unique sense of humor underneath his quiet exterior.

My father died in 2003, and that is when my mother began teaching me lessons, other than what she had taught me as a child. My mom is now an elderly woman, and I'm sure her life is not what she pictured these years to be when she was younger. However, just like my dad, she seems to be coping very well. It seems that she is accepting of her circumstances, and is trying to make the best of it. I think that my mother also has in inner strength that I hadn't realized before.

I think that some of the most important things that I've learned from my parents is that sometimes we can rely on our own inner strength to cope with circumstances in life. And I also think that my parents taught me that it's okay to laugh even during difficult times.

Perhaps I've also learned that, I, too, have a quiet, inner strength that I inherited from my parents.

Learn more about this author, Belinda Beasley.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Learning from our parents and grandparents?
We want to hear your view. Write now!