1 of 10

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 6

introduced me to a book, "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (Mason/Kreger), about Borderline Personality Disorder. I started reading the book. At chapter two I was thinking, "this is not it", but by chapter three (I think entitled "Chaos") it nailed my life to a "T". This was the hell I was living.

My partner and I had both seen a psychologist for relationship counseling at her suggestion, I thought we were way past rescue at which she finally stormed out in the fourth session after insulting both of us (she had insulted the psychologist on the previous three visits as well). After she left, the psychologist turned to me and said that my partner had some major psychological problems. I sadly replied, "I know". I asked about BPD and the book I had been reading, and she indicated it was a most appropriate book. I don't know if she could legally do a diagnosis, because of the nature of the consultation, but it was clearly a diagnosis, albeit unofficial. No psychologist I spoke to after disagreed after hearing various examples of her behavior. I finally started working with a psychologist who worked with people with BPD in an effort to understand what was going on, and how to deal with it, and if I could help "fix" it, and what was ultimately best for myself and my son's mental health.

As much as you may love someone with BPD, if it's an "optional" relationship (meaning, they're not a relative, but someone you choose to be involved with) you have to think hard about its impact on your own personal mental health. A full-blown BPD is a major psychological handful. As one psychologist I consulted noted, she'd rather deal with ten schizophrenics than one BPD. The reason is that the schizophrenics know something is wrong and want to fix it, but the BPD can't accept that something else might be wrong with them, and often reject all diagnosis and efforts to treat them.

What is it like living with someone with BPD? I can only speak to my own experience, and I know there are a variety of "flavors" of BPD, but I can at least tell you what I went through. Unless I cite a specific source, I will not claim this writing pertains to all BPDs.

The foundation for BPD is usually set in childhood. In my case, my partner lived in a climate where her parents were emotionally detached and uninvolved. As with most dysfunctional families, the dysfunction is not limited to a single generation. My partner's mother was a child of an alcoholic - an abusive one, if I recall correctly, and so her mother

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to deal with people with borderline personality disorder?
We want to hear your view. Write now!