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How to have a friendly divorce

Quick divorce, cheap divorce... but FRIENDLY divorce? Before you shake your head and say that only happens on television, consider the facts: since so many marriages end that way, statistically there just has to be a former couple who gets along somewhere out there.

It's true; ex-spouses can get along. It isn't always easy, but it is possible. Some couples (are you sitting down?) even remain friends after the divorce is final. Those couples know a few secrets, though - and they realize that hating each other is not the best option for anyone involved. Here are a few simple tips for taking the sting out of a potentially messy divorce.

YOU CAN'T BOTH BE RIGHT
When you're in strong disagreement with your soon-to-be ex, you're always the one who's right. Wrong! While you feel that you're justified and 100% correct, they're feeling the same thing - but you can't both be right. You can each have some valid points for feeling the way that you do, though, and by conceding small things to your spouse you'll save a lot of money on Advil - and on psychiatrist bills.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
You really don't have to fight over everything. Sure, you don't get along like you used to; that's why you're heading your separate ways. However, some things just aren't worth the trouble of arguing over. Think about it: will you even care what the outcome is if you "win" the argument? If it's something you're going to forget about by the end of the week, don't even bring it up. It's not worth the damage that's going to be done if you end up fighting about it.

REALIZE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE A LASTING IMPRESSION
After your divorce, you may not ever speak to each other again. Do you really want to scar someone so badly that they'll hate you for all eternity? No, you don't - if you set aside your anger and hurt over the divorce, you won't let it make a monster out of you.

DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS MAKE YOUR DECISIONS
Divorce causes a plethora of emotional turmoil. You don't think straight when you're hurt, angry, and upset - so every time a decision has to be made, look to the future. If you're fighting for the house simply because you don't want your partner to have it, think long and hard about your choice - will you be able to afford it (and all of its' upkeep) and maintain it, or would you be better off starting over? Don't make a decision because your emotions tell you to; only think with logical reasoning, no matter how mad you are.

Divorce is rarely easy, especially because so much hurt and anger gets dredged up. It often brings out the worst qualities in people, which is a 180-degree turn from who they were when they first married. If you try to put a damper on your feelings when dealing with your soon-to-be ex, you'll find that everyone will be happier in the long run. The divorce will go much more smoothly, and you'll save yourself from a lot of potential problems.

Learn more about this author, Angie Papple.
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