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10 things you would like to say to a rude customer

I don't mind working in the service industry and I am more than happy to find products and solve problems for customers, but basic manners go a long way. Rudeness won't make the customer right, and taking your frustrations out on me won't magically make me change company policy, either. That being said, basic manners must go both ways and both the customer and the employee must treat each other with respect if anything is to get done. A lot of customer frustration derives from the feeling that they're not being listened to, and rudeness can be cut off at the pass if you can show that you're making an effort on their behalf.

Never the less... some people are just rude! I'll bite my tongue when I run across an obnoxious customer, but what I really want to say is:

10. Hang on while I go whip the slaves in backstock and make them sew the jacket we don't have in your size.

9. If you're going to shout, brush your teeth first.

8. I'm not going to ring in your purchases until you get off the cell phone and can speak me to me like I'm a real, live person.

7. Yes, PLEASE take your business somewhere else!

6. I think I'm too important to kowtow to your self-importance. Ha!

5. You're too creepy for me to deal with.

4. Are you seriously having a temper tantrum over a return?!

3. I work here part-time. The other half of my time I use to earn my Master's degree. Do you honestly still think you're smarter than me?

2. I don't understand what you want. USE YOUR WORDS!

1. What makes you think I would want to help a jerk like you?

I've called people out on their rude behaviour more than once, and what really gets me is that I'm labelled rude when I do. Nobody likes the embarrassment of having their bad behaviour pointed out calmly and reasonably by someone who has kept their cool, but I just don't get paid enough to put up with abuse. Bad customer behaviour IS abuse - it's a bullying technique used by frustrated or self-important people to get their own way. If the customer realizes that you can't be bullied, they'll usually back off.

Don't ever forget that the people who ring in your groceries or serve you dinner are people too, and that they deserve to be treated like people, no matter how small their paycheque is.

And remember: when you want something done, you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

Learn more about this author, Eva Pronovost.
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