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Let me not even stutter when I say No'!

Sleepover for sleepover sake should be avoided for a variety of reasons but hear me out! The reason is simple. Think through this with me. When our children are young, we give them boundaries. They learn to stay within these confines and to some degree they adopt many of them as their own as they mature and develop their own convictions. As we are consistent and fair in the boundaries they are more likely to respond rather than rebel against us and/or authority at an older age.

If I allow my eight-year-old coed sleepovers and this becomes an acceptable activity, all is well and good. But now, this eight year old is grown to thirteen or even fifteen and they want to have their best friend' over (who just happens to be of the opposite sex). They are going to hear from us Absolutely not!' How could you even ask" or worse yet Don't be silly'.

Now, look at this from the young person's point of view. I was allowed to have a coed sleep over at age eight but now they must hate me and do not want me to have fun anymore' or some other myriad of lies that teenagers feed from. They have enough to deal with don't give them more fuel to fight against us. Give them a break and use your brain when they are young!

Just so you do not discount my thoughts as stuffy and old fashioned, if we are talking the kind of sleepover parents initiate wanting to go out on the town and send Johnny over to Sarah's parents house to eliminate the need for a babysitter- now that's a different story. Then treat it like a sleepover and give your child a great time! Even slip in the blessing of letting it be at that favorite friends house. But use common sense and teach them now that there are privacy and respect for both boys and girls and sleep them in separate rooms! Be sure to address it clearly so the child knows it is a privilege they have to be sleeping over not a right. And special dispensation has been given. They will be thrilled that you have given them a treat and yet you have not compromised a standard you will desire for them to respect when they are older. And better yet, there will be no confusion for them as teenagers. At least in this issue!

Practically speaking never allow your young children to do something at three, five or ten that you will want to remove when they are fifteen! It is easier to add in blessings than to remove privileges previously granted. Be fair. Be consistent. Be a parent one step ahead when they reach those teenage years. Our children will have enough struggles of their own! We do not need to add our stupidity on top of it!

Learn more about this author, Lynn Dalvinger.
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