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I think I was eleven years old the first time a physician prescribed me a diet pill. Yes I was overweight, yes I needed to lose weight, but really should an eleven year old be put on diet pills? I didn't question it and I doubt my dad did ( he wanted his daughter thin ). Now everybody knew I had lost my mother, when I was three and a half. My stepmother and I didn't get along and I was a pretty confused kid. What no one knew was that I had just been brought out of a home where I had been molested for over two years.

Well guess what? I loved the up feeling the diet pills gave me. I felt energized and happy, which was great as far as I was concerned. Unfortunately after a few days that feeling disappeared. So did the feeling of not being hungry. Since I was in control of my own pills I stopped taking them. Its been a while so I'm not sure exactly what happened, perhaps I realized someone might realize I had stopped taking them if they checked the bottle. Anyway I took another pill after several days and it made me happy again. I can't say how many times I repeated the process of starting and stopping the medication so I could recapture the happy feeling but before long I was saving up pills so I could take them 4or 5 at a time.

I loved the speeding feeling, and all that went with it. I wasn't losing weight, at least not that I remember but I was getting high. Being only eleven, an only child at that point and not having a lot of friends, it was great. I had a new friend besides food. I only had a limited amount of diet pills though so I had to stretch them out. Before long I learned that there were pills like Vivarin (spelling) that sold in stores and gave you a buzzed feeling. Since my allowance was only 50 cents I learned to shoplift. Okay I already knew how to shoplift I just added to the list of things I would steal.

Despite being young, I apparently knew I couldn't get high all the time because of my limited resources. If I remember correctly I also was not fond of the "crashing" that occurred when I came down off of the diet pills. Fortunately I didn't like feeling out of control with my own body so when I experimented with other drugs I was very careful. I tired street whites only once when I was older and after taking them all weekend I began seeing things that weren't there, which scared the hell out of me so I didn't go that direction.

I was lucky that I didn't become an addict because I really did like the high. Since my use was sporadic I can't say exactly

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