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No matter how close you are with your in-laws you will see sides to them that you wouldn't normally see when you're planning a wedding. The first thing you should remember is that you do have to see them off and on for the rest of your life and it would be best for you if those times weren't spent avoiding eye contact because of the knock down fight you had about inviting the known nut of the family so they wouldn't start anything like they did at the last family function they were at.

If you feel very strong about your decision to exclude someone from the event and you just want to send them an announcement go into it with examples of previous behavior and stick to your convictions it's your day and you will be nervous enough without someone heckling or making a fuss during the ceremony or the reception. Let them know you understand their side but you really would be more comfortable if they weren't there.

How much they are involved with any decision making should be equal to what they are contributing. Of course you should hear them out after all if they've been married before they could have some good tips. You should be able to talk openly and honestly about your plans for the wedding with them and make sure your fiance will back you up. If they know what you want and that their son wants too they will be more likely to cooperate.

If you want only immediate family to keep costs low and keep the ceremony more intimate than inviting everyone you ever met and their friends then be sure to voice it ahead of time that way they don't get their feelings hurt when you don't invite your future mother-in-laws hair dresser or a fifth cousin that has just been found because of someone's obsession with ancestry.

Give them tasks to do that they can not mess up like picking up things or helping someone else run wedding related errands. If they are being supervised they can't change anything at least not without you knowing about it so it can be fixed before the big day. Ask their input on things that you trust their taste with. For instance if you are not into flowers and they have a garden you may want to ask them which flowers would be in season that go with your colors for your wedding. See if they can grow them for you or suggest a florist, have them go with you so you have someone with the knowledge to make sure you get a good deal. If they feel like they're being included in decisions they may be more likely to leave other things alone.

If they surprise you on your wedding day with something that you really didn't want like extra flowers or crazy decorations that you made it very clear that you didn't want take it out have your brides maids or grooms men move them so they're not visible. Make sure your photographer knows not to photograph them because you don't want to look at you wedding photos and get mad all over again.

It's really your day and your fiance's day while your future in-laws have good intentions sometimes they just feel like they're reliving their wedding or trying to create the wedding they never had. The only real way to keep their involvement to a minimum would be to surprise them or elope. If you're planning a big event they will want to be included or if it's even just a small event they will still want to have their say. If all else fails start taking a martial arts class so you can let out your frustration by hitting things and not getting in trouble for it.

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