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Write Strike; Wrong Message

Try not to be jealous of me, but I've never seen a full episode of "The Simpsons". I only saw 10 minutes of one episode of "The Sopranos", once. I also couldn't tell you the names of any of the characters on "24", "The X-Files" or "Heroes". I've simply never watched any of those shows, or dozens of others.

I realize that this makes me an anomaly. I'm the Nielsen ratings equivalent of a wolf-boy who's never been to a McDonalds. It's not that I'm one of those anti-TV persons who owns a Victrola and stores preserves and water in his basement, either. I have three televisions in my house, and they're always on.

With the Writers Guild of America striking this past week, the low amount of hours that I've logged watching the most popular TV series of the last 10 years has proven to be nothing short of genius. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved television. I keep a picture of my first 12 inch black and white Sears model in my wallet. It's signed, too.

Growing up I never knew the seasons had changed outside. My year was divided into only 2 seasons: spring sweeps and fall sweeps. I knew it was summer only when there was an excessive amount of reruns and the sun gave my TV that awful glare. Thank goodness for blinds. By the time the Sears died (May 17, 1994, 8:42PM Central Standard Time), I was married and had 2 kids, I also had a 27-inch RCA, a 13-inch Panasonic, and another one on the way. The only time there wasn't TV noise in the background at my house was when the cable went out. Then we just watched the blue screen and prayed that it came back on before prime time.

To hear the principles talk about the Writers Guild of America writers strike, you would think that we're headed for Armageddon.

NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker said, "A strike will happen at everyone's peril."

Cue the Darth Vader theme song.

CW entertainment chief Dawn Ostroff gave this Orwellian warning, "It's just better for everyone if habits aren't broken and if people that are getting into characters and shows are able to continue to do so."

The last time the writers were "forced" to strike, so they tell me, was in 1988. That strike lasted 22 weeks and cost the industry $500 million. Really? I was 28 in 1988, at the height of my demographic prowess, and I swear I don't remember any of it. I don't remember feeling the world slip off of its axis. I don't remember going to church and praying for the well-being of my favorite TV characters ("Dear God, please protect Crockett

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