by Dina Psichogiopoulos

Created on: January 25, 2008

Childhood experiences stay with us for the rest of our lives. We are extremely fortunate if we have grown up in a positive family network. A loving, caring and confident upbringing will certainly set us up for a bright and hopeful future.

However, there are many children who have grown up within a critical and abusive home. These children form a negative view of life and are very critical of themselves and what they can accomplish. This type of upbringing causes a lot of negative feelings and beliefs. It reinforces a negative self image and their self esteem is extremely low.

Problems can continue into adult life. These problems include stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, problems with forming long term friendships and relationships, poor job performance and under achievement in all areas of life.

Tips for building self esteem in children include praise and encouragement.
Children need to feel that someone is listening to them and taking them seriously
If children are treated with respect then they will learn to respect others.
Getting positive attention when growing up is invaluable toward developing our self esteem and self worth in our world.
When children feel that they are successful in their school, hobby or sport they feel like they can accomplish and succeed what they set out to do.
When children grow up with friends that are honest and trustworthy then these qualities become important to them and they value honesty and trust.

Praise is important in a child's world as they are still trying and learning. They don't always get it right and rarely on first try. It is important to make them realize that failure is not the end but a process to get to winning or achieving what they set out to do.
Remember to praise lavishly and criticize sparingly.
Provide a loving home and a safe learning environment that applauds effort and approves and supports success as well as failure.

Make an effort to praise an attempt to do something even if they doesn't quite succeed what they set out to do. They will have learned something.
Try and make a brief comment or statement, something like one the following at least daily,
-I love you
-You are special
-You are great
-You are awesome
-I am so proud of you
-Well done
-Great job
-Fantastic effort
-You are a winner
-You are the best
-Nothing can stop you now
-You are a champion
-You are a legend
-You are so grown up
-You are a treasure
-And my mum often said as I needed to try something new "You can do it"

Provide a healthy, supportive learning environment that encourages respect, love and understanding.
And don't forget to give your child a warm hug and a loving smile. These small acts of kindness soften the heart and you know you are safe and truly loved.

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